I love to observe. My daughters have often gotten after me because they say I’m staring at perfect strangers. They are not wrong I am. Not because of others appearance, my opinion of what they are doing or saying but because I have an extremely vivid imagination. I watch people then I paint an entire life story in my mind. Who is the mother, did she marry young, was she an immigrant from some other country and what brought her here? Then I take that imagination and write their tale. I know it may be kind of weird, but I love human stories. So if I’m not told them, (which I am crazy enough to ask perfect strangers the details of their lives) I tend to create them.
One place I ponder a lot is watching young ladies. Whether they are alone, with their boyfriends, or with a group of girls I wonder about their lives. Watching them brings some funny entertaining mind ponderings. There are the silly carefree females that probably find themselves unintentionally in crazy scenarios because they leap before looking. There are some great stories to be built around those girls.
Then sometimes watching brings personal frustration because as I observe I am noticing these girls settle for less. The boyfriend walks three feet in front of a sweet young female and shrugs off attempts to take his hand in companionship. The three girls in the mall together two enamored with one another and the third looking lost, sad and left out. I notice the girl who is clothed in such a way that I am watching as she draws attention from men of all ages. And they have things on their minds that I really don’t want to ponder.
I realize I am screaming inside my head, “Where are your bars sweet girls”? I am not talking about the corner one that is perhaps the place you go to hang with friends. I’m speaking of the bars you set or apparently don’t set in your life. We all should possess bars that state our expectations for our self as well as what we expect from others that are in our lives. They will include personal accomplishment as well as acceptable behavior. What I mean by setting bars is what kind of relationships do you want to build, what education standards do you want for your life, do you have a career goal you want to accomplish. Like a high jumper the higher the bar the more focus and work it takes to achieve it. But if we don’t establish those bars they are established for us by others and they will absolutely be much lower than we really hope for.
Every female should desire to be all she was created to be. There was not one female born without talents and abilities. Not one born that is incapable of making a mark in this world of accomplishment and impact. Choose to make the most of those talents and do not surrender to anything that will keep you from that goal.
Every female should expect to be valued in the same way she values herself. So if you place a low value upon yourself others will as well. I do not mean vanity, conceit, or thinking you are more than another. I mean feeling equal in worth and potential. If you believe you are to be treasured in the same way you treasure those around you, the bar of acceptable behavior will be set. That boyfriend will not leave you in the dust because you believe you are worth more than the dust. The friends you choose will treat you with the same importance that you treat them.
Every female should present herself in such a way that those around her would consider her from a platform of respect. If you appear ready to “play” well men will think about exactly what “play” may mean to them. If you don’t that greatly diminishes those brain cells actively engaging. And you want those brain cells not engaged! Look confident, you become confident. Look like you respect yourself and others will respect you as well.
So set your bars, determine your worth. And do this before you build relationships, attempt those accomplishments and build that future. I truly believe in the potential of every female and know that the higher the bars are set the better this world will be. Our impact and effect is huge we cannot only change our course but the course of those around us. And on a personal note then I can lose myself sitting at the mall in the more pleasant entertaining story lines with less internal screaming.